Losing Sanity
by Lizdacious
Summary: AU. Miley's the new kid in 11th grade. She thinks she likes the jock football player, Jake Ryan, but everything changes when Lilly Truscott, the punky hardcore girl influences her life more than Miley thought could've happened. Liley.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is AU story. Femslash.**

This is my first day at my new high school. Seaview High School. I'm in 11th grade, and my family just moved here to California. Daddy wanted a different life, he was tired of the same ole' Tennessee life. Not to mention Mom died about 2 months ago. It'd be too hard on us to walk around the house everyday to relive memories constantly. So we chose to move to Malibu, California.

I walked down the hallway, unsure of everything. I don't know if I'm even heading in the right direction. I see a somewhat cute boy, and decide to ask him where the Main Office is, it gives me an excuse to meet him, and not be lost. "Hey," I said approaching him.

"Well hello," he said raising his eyebrows at me, and a big grin plastered on his face.

"Do you happen to know where the main office is?" I decided I'd play the sweet innocent new girl.

"Well, I could show you the way," he winked at me. I felt myself blush a little, I didn't expect him to be so forward. "By the way, the name's Jake Ryan," he held his hand out to me.

"Miley Stewart," I said taking his hand in mine. I looked over to my right to see two girls standing there looking pissed off. Both had their hands on their hips, and seemed to be staring right at Jake and me.

"This way," Jake's voice distracted me, and I followed him, it was then I realized he was wearing a football jacket. He must be the jock of this school… prom king jock. He probably expected me to sleep with him; just so he could tell all his friends he slept with the hot new girl. "And here's the office, Miley Stewart," he was smirking at me.

"Well thank you very much, Jake Ryan," I waved him farewell, and walked inside the air-conditioned room.

"How can I help you?" a woman sitting behind a desk with beehive hair asked me.

"I'm new here, and I was ju--"

"Your name please," she interrupted me.

"Miley Stewart."

She started chuckling, "The names kids have these days," she was shaking her head, and sighed. She moved her wheely-chair over to the printer, and put her hand out, so the paper would land right on it. "Here you go Millsbury," she shoved the paper into my hand.

I looked down and realized it was my schedule. It had the course, room number, and teacher's name on it, but no directions or map. "Where are the classes?"

"Ask some kids around Millsbury," she snapped at me, and returned to her computer. I don't think ever in my life have I been called Millsbury. I didn't feel like talking to her anymore, so I walked out into the hallway. Jake was nowhere to be found, which means I'd have to find someone else to show me around. Suddenly the bell rang for first period, and I saw everyone rushing. I'm guessing this wouldn't be a good time to ask anyone anything.

I tried to find at least one person who wasn't running… and I found her. She was leaning against her locker, chewing on a toothpick, she looked like she didn't care if she was late or not. I slowly approached the blonde haired girl. When I got closer I saw strips of purple in her hair, and heavy eyeliner on. She wore black hoodie with some band's name on it, with black jeans, and black converse on. She saw me coming towards her, and raised her eyebrow. "Whaddya want?" she asked, twirling the toothpick a bit with her tongue.

"Can you help me find some of my classes?" my eyes adverted back and forth between her eyes and my paper, she had this intense look that made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

"What good would it do for me?" She picked up one of her feet, and placed it on the wall she was leaning on.

"I'm new here…" that didn't really answer her question, but I didn't know what else to say. She was very intimidating.

"Yeah, so? I was new here at one point too," she seemed to smirk a little, "when I was born." Was that supposed to be a joke? I sort of wanted to laugh at her corniness. The second bell rang, signifying everyone was supposed to be in his or her class now.

"Miss.Truscott, hanging out in the halls again?" a tall male teacher called out to her.

She seemed to snarl, "No, Mr.Patier, I was just about to show this girl," she jabbed her thumb towards me, "around. She don't know where 'nything is."

"Very well Miss.Truscott, I expect a late pass," Mr.Patier said walking into his classroom.

She looked at me, and for once I saw a glimpse of kindness, but it only lasted for a split second. "Gimme that," she said ripping the paper out of my hands. She grumbled, "You have first period with me… means we got Mr.Patier together," she picked up her shoulder bag, and slinged it over.

"I'm Miley," I said, I just wanted to meet some people, even if 'Miss.Truscott' wasn't nice.

"_I'm Miley_," she said in a mocking tone. "Who named you? Sounds like a pokémon or something," she stepped into the classroom I saw Mr.Patier enter before.

Mr.Patier eyed us as we walked in. I walked up to him, "Uh, I have you," wow, that didn't sound awkward one bit.

"Well, welcome to 11th grade English class," he smiled at me, "so I guess your Milly Stewart," he said mispronouncing my name.

"It's actually Miley," I said smiling.

"Okay Milly," he said again mispronouncing it, "you can sit next to Lillian Truscott," he pointed to the toothpick girl. I grunted a bit, before walking over to my seat. I sat down, and pulled out a notebook. I watched him pick up chalk and begin writing vocabulary words on the board.

I glanced over at Lillian, and saw her picking at her fingernails; she had them painted black, and wore gloves with the tips cut off. She saw me looking at her, and she sneered at me. I looked away and began doodling in my notebook. This was a wonderful first day already.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The bell rang. First period was finally over! I thought English would've been fun, but it wasn't… we were learning vocab words I learned in the 7th grade, how stupid are Malibu kids? I somehow ended up behind Lillian when entering the hallway. I was trying to look for my next classroom, when I saw the two girls from earlier. "Well looky here, it's Lesbian Lillian," one said smirking.

The other one laughed, "Yeah, too bad she's the only lesbian here!"

The first one had a surprised look on her face, and they both touched their pointer fingers while saying "Oooooooh tsssssssss." I really had no idea what that was about. Their jokes weren't funny, and what they said wouldn't really offend anyone, it'd just bother people.

Lillian grumbled and spat at them, before walking on. "Yuck!" the first one screamed, "I have lesbian germs on me! Quick Ashley, help me get them off before I melt into a lesbian too!"

"Amber, I don't want to touch the lesbian spit!" Ashley screeched.

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a tissue, "here," I said handing it to Amber.

"Thanks," Amber gave me a fake smile. She still looked pissed off about me talking to Jake earlier.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I was sitting on the bench outside the school, watching everyone walk by. I could drive home anytime I wanted to, but I'd rather just look at everyone. The rest of my day wasn't so great, out of the 9 periods I have, 7 of them occupy Lillian. I looked over my left shoulder to see her coming towards me. Great, just what I needed.

"Hey," she said sitting next to me, was she pretending to be nice to me to get something? "Listen, I'm sorry about my attitude earlier. It's just that usually when people talk to me, they make fun of me… or just want to be evil, but I don't think you're like that. You have a nice smile," she looked at me trying to see what I was feeling, "so can we start again?" she paused, "Hi, I'm Lilly," she held out her hand.

"Hello, I'm Miley," I took her hand in mine and shook it. I was smiling a lot, and I don't know why, I had a feeling that she was going to change my life somehow.

**A/N: Good start? I like Lilly being badass :P Maybe she should own a motorcycle.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just wanted to say this may be the last update for a while, 'cause I decided to go to the city (NYC) today and get snake bites (lip piercings) without my mom's permission, and she still hasn't quite decided a grounding… hope it isn't taking away my computer! Anyways, thanks for the reviews everyone! And just to let everyone know since this is an AU (Alternate Universe) Lilly is going to be slightly OOC, as well with everyone else.**

"So where you from?" Lilly questioned me, adjusting a beanie hat on her head.

"I'm from Tennessee," I replied simply, I hope she doesn't ask any further questions, because I really don't want to get into about my mother.

"I thought so, your accent," she laughed a little. Her smile was cute; I liked it. "So why'd you move to California?" that was the question I was dreading.

"I'd rather not talk about it," my eyes adverted to the ground, and I felt myself become a little depressed.

Lilly seemed to instantly notice this and tried to cheer me up, "Hey, well do you want me to show you around Malibu? I mean since you just moved here…"

"Yeah," I agreed, it'd be nice to make some friends. I just wasn't sure about my car, and where she was going to be taking me. "I have my car here…" I mumbled the rest, I felt like this information was useless.

"Hun, we're taking my motorcycle, I don't ride in cars," Lilly smiled, stood up and took my hand. I looked down at my hand, and back up to Lilly's head, but all I saw was blonde hair waving around from the wind. Her hand is on mine… what if she wants to be more than friends? No… don't think that Miley, this is your first friend, just assume everything is normal. It doesn't matter that you heard Amber and Ashley call her lesbian… they could be lying too. "Here," Lilly shoved a helmet into my hands.

"Are we going to come back?" I asked Lilly to make sure I was going to be able to drive my car home.

"Of course," Lilly put one leg over the motorcycle, and tightened her helmet. She looked up at me, waiting for me to sit down. To be honest, I was kind of scared, I've never been on a motorcycle before, and I didn't feel safe riding with someone I just met. "Come on," she beckoned me, with a smile on her face. Seeing that smile told me that I was going to be safe.

I fastened my helmet, and swung my leg over. The second I was on; I wrapped my arms around Lilly's waist, like I see them do in the movies all the times. "Just hold on tight," she said before starting the engine.

The second we began moving, I felt my stomach lurch, but it calmed down after a few minutes, and I was able to enjoy the ride. I began to like the feeling of wind blowing through my hair, the feeling of being close to Lilly… wait what? I just liked the feeling of being safe. I tried to see where we were going, but it was hard to see because of the amount of wind blowing on me. I eventually gave up, and relaxed into the rhythm of the bike moving, and of Lilly's breathing.

I felt the bike come to a stop, and I opened my eyes to look around. I saw the ocean, with waves crashing down, I saw grass before the sand, and I saw lots of rocks piled on one of another. "We're here," Lilly breathed out, she was grinning, there was obviously something special about this place to Lilly. She pulled her helmet off, and shook her head a little; she looked amazing, even with helmet hair.

I began trying to unbuckle my helmet, but I couldn't exactly grasp the concept of how the buckle worked. "Here, let me help," she said, bringing her face close to mine, as her fingers worked on the buckle, I stared at her lips. They were a light red but dark pink, and there was this certain shine to it… and strawberries and cream. The scent was taunting me in some way, but I couldn't exactly figure it out, "there we go!" the hoarseness and suddenness of her voice, pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Thanks," I said, ruffling my hair a bit with my hands, to get rid of my helmet hair.

"This is my favorite place to surf," she said that with such passion, "but I haven't surfed in a while," and it seemed her smile disappeared, did something happen?

"Why not?" I asked her, and she began walking towards the sand.

She unzipped her hoodie, and let it slide off her shoulders, revealing a purple tank top underneath. Next she pulled off her gloves, and seemed to spread her arms out, letting the wind blow on her. "I can't," she finally responded. She bent down, and started to untie her converse.

I came up next to her, taking my shoes off too. I didn't want to ask her why again… but she kind of didn't explain, "An accident happened," she said. I was glad I didn't have to say anything more.

She began moving again, and I followed yet again, I felt the coolness, and softness of the sand touch my feet. With each step I took I felt the sand kick up behind me. In one graceful fall, Lilly was laying on the ground. She was staring at the clouds in the sky, her palms wide open, as if expecting something to come down and take her. I plopped down next to her, hoping she'd say more about the accident.

"I was surfing one day," she breathed out, and then took a deep breath in, "the waves were great. Not too high, but not low. That's when people started screaming, I got confused, I didn't know what was going on. I looked over to my left. And he was gone," Lilly closed her eyes, and stopped talking.

It was evident to me that she hasn't talked to anyone about this. I felt so much emotion from what she was saying. "He was gone…" she repeated, but softer, and sadder. I took one quick glance at Lilly, and saw the tears streaming down her face.

She's obviously been screaming out to people to pay attention to her. To help her, but no one's heard her screams. Everyone's eardrums must have broke the day she screamed. I didn't know what to do, she was opening up to me so fast, I didn't even have the courage to tell her my mom died, and here she was telling me about this.

"I wish I was there for him," she suddenly sat up, and begin rubbing at her face, trying her best to wipe all the tears off. "My little brother," she sniffled and it seemed as though she was going to start crying again, "he was only 6… 6 years old."

I could see she needed someone to be here for her, so I moved closer, placing my arm around her, and rubbing her arm with my hand. I didn't want to do anything that would startle her, and we just met today not to mention. "I heard him screaming, I just didn't think they were screams for help, I swear if I knew… I would've… I could've saved him…" she started wailing, and turned her whole body towards me, placing her head in my shoulder. I rubbed her back, and soothed her.

"I lost my mother," I blurted out. I don't know why I said that, I normally wouldn't tell anyone for a while, but if Lilly was able to open up her heart like this, I think I could at least creak the door open on my heart.

Lilly lifted her head and looked at me into my eyes, "you understand," she said it carefully, not sure if that's what I was trying to get at, but that's exactly what I wanted to let her know, so I nodded my head.

She quickly wiped the tears off her face, "come with me," she said standing up, and taking my hand, pulling me towards her.

She started running, and I was forced to run with her, as she had a tight grip on my hand, eventually we reached this area where the rocks were right in front of a cliff. She began moving some of the rocks, to reveal a cave. "I always came here when I was younger," she said pushing a big rock out of the way, "it's special to me, so I keep it hidden."

I nodded my head once again, I didn't really feel the need to talk around Lilly, and it was more of I was here for her. She bent over, and crawled inside the cave, but I stood outside it, caves were never really meant for me. "C'mon Miley, come inside," she whined, she really wanted me to, so I obliged.

Getting on all fours, I crawled inside, but was amazed, when I realized I could stand up, the top of the cave went up to at least 10 feet, and there was tons of light all in the cave. "Look here!" Lilly said excitedly, she was pointing at a picture on the wall.

There were actual cave paintings in here, and I noticed some left over arrowheads… and bones… I wanted to get out now. "I… uh, it's cool, but the bones, are making me uneasy," I admitted to Lilly, grasping my stomach. I felt her push me to go back out of the cave.

The second I was out, and smelt the familiar seawater, I felt better, and Lilly wrapped her arms around me, hugging me, "Feeling better?" she asked soothingly. It was nice to have someone care for you, even if you just met him or her.

I nodded my head, and Lilly let go; I immediately felt colder. She stood there with me for a few moments of silence, "Do you know Jake Ryan?" I asked finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah," she said snorting at his name.

"What?" I asked, smiling to her reaction.

"We went out once, but he's an ass. Don't go near him. He just wants to sleep with girls, and I found out the hard way," Lilly said walking back to where we left our shoes and the rest of her clothes.

"Oh," was all I could say, there go my chances of being with him. If Lilly were going to be my friend, it'd be best not to betray her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, I haven't updated this in foreverrr! I do that a lot, just not update, ahahah. Well here's an extra long update!**

I walked into the school the next day with thoughts swarming in my head. If Lilly was a lesbian, then why did she sleep with Jake Ryan? Perhaps those two girls were over exaggerating the lesbian aspect, and maybe she was just bisexual? Why am I even thinking about this so much? "Oh hey Miley," I heard a familiar deep voice call to me.

Turning around my eyes met with Jake's and he had this cocky grin plastered on his face. Maybe I could secretly date him and still be friends with Lilly? "Hi Jake," I said this all way too dreamily. Crap, he's going to know I like him now… but that's not such a bad thing, right?

"I was wondering… would you like to come to a party with me tonight?" I'm guessing this was his award-winning smile? Miley stop it! He does this just to sleep with girls… but I wouldn't mind sleeping with him.

"I'd love to," I stupidly responded. I didn't want to say that!

"Great, here's my number, call me later and I'll pick you up," he waved to me, and walked down the hallway.

"Whose got you all love sick already?" Lilly popped her face in front of mine.

"No one!" I all too quickly responded.

"Mmmhm, right," Lilly laughed. Today she was wearing an A7X shirt, with these tight skinny jeans, and chains flowing off them. She did her eye makeup a little bit less heavy today, and she had her beautiful blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"What's A7X?" I asked Lilly, pointing to her shirt.

"You don't know them?" she asked me shocked.

"No?" Am I supposed to?

"It's Avenged Sevenfold! One of the greatest bands of all time!" she was practically shouting in my ear, and I thought I might've gone deaf. "Come to my house after school, we'll listen to them, 'cause you need to hear them."

"I-I can't," I said, remembering my other plans with Jake.

"Have better things to do?" she asked me solemnly.

"Not better," I corrected her, "just other things."

"Like what?" she asked me the second the bell rang. Oh thank you! I love that term 'Saved by the bell.'

"C'mon, let's go to class," I grabbed her hand and lead her to our first period class. I think the shock of me grabbing her hand, prevented her from questioning me further what I was really doing tonight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So you positive you don't wanna come to my place?" Lilly almost begged me as we were walking to the parking lot. Today my dad dropped me off since he had to use his car for other things. I know, I know! I called it _my _car, but you know teenagers, we just like to claim things as ours, even if they aren't.

"I really can't, but you could give me a ride home today," I grinned; really hoping she would, because I didn't feel like walking home.

"Of course," she smiled right back at me, "but can you please at least tell me why you can't hang tonight?"

"Alright, alright," I said giving in, there's no keeping it from her, I guess, "I was invited to a party."

"Already?" She really looked surprised, "Usually, they don't invite new kids to parties, who invited you?"

"I don't know his name," I lied.

"Ah, well hope everything goes well…" she seemed kind of depressed, she doesn't seem like the person who's really invited to many parties.

"Thanks," I was unsure, now I felt guilty for not agreeing to hang out with her, "since tomorrow is Saturday, want me to come over, and we'll listen to this Avenged Sevenfold band?" I was really hoping that this would lift her spirits.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she threw me the extra helmet to her motorcycle. "So, just direct me to your house," she said throwing one leg over the motorcycle.

"You can hear me over the engine of this?" I climbed onto the motorcycle and sat right behind her, immediately wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Pshyeah," she turned her head to look at me one last time before starting up her beast.

The whole ride to my house felt amazing. The way I clinged to her really made me feel that our bodies were meant to be this way. She had this amazing way of moving her body when we would make turns on her motorcycle. I purposely made her take the longer way to my house, just so I could feel her body turn a few extra times. "This is it!" I yelled over the roaring of her beast.

She pulled up my driveway, and hopped off so quickly, I thought I might've fallen off, but then I realized she only did that so she could take my hands, and help me off. "Thanks for the ride home," I said, and grabbed onto her, not used to standing on the ground yet.

She clutched my waist, insuring me I wouldn't fall, I kind of liked her hands there, but at the same time, it made me feel a little uneasy. "Anytime," she whispered into my ear, holding me close.

"So tomorrow," I pulled away from her body, "pick me up around 2pm?"

"Anytime."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake and I walked into the party, with his hand grasping mine; I think he was trying to send the signal that tonight I was his. When we entered the house, I saw the smirks people gave him, or sometimes the high fives guys tried to give him, and the angry look on Jake's face as he swatted them away. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea for me to come here.

"Want a beer?" he asked me once we were in the center of the room.

"Yeah, sure," I've only had a few beers before, and it was while I was with my dad. You know like where they let you have one with dinner, so you can at least try it? I've never actually been drunk, or purposely drank beers to get drunk.

As I waited for Jake, all these guys kept trying to hit on me, and I just kept telling them I was with someone, but they all responded, _your point? Aren't you one of those girls that don't care if you're with someone or not?_ Ensuing I'm a whore.

"Hey, sorry I took so long," he handed me a Smirnoff Ice.

I quickly downed it, not wanting to look like a baby here. "Woah, someone's thirsty," he was grinning, he was happy that he could get me drunk. He wanted me drunk.

"Here you can finish mine," he said thrusting his drink in my hand, "I'll just grab another one for myself."

I downed his just as fast, why am I doing this? Did I want him to be my first? Did I want my first to be while I was drunk?

"Glad I grabbed two, seeing as how you already finished mine," every time he talked or looked at me getting more drunk, his smile grew.

I was beginning to feel woozy, and happy at the same time. I felt the need to smile as well now, seeing that the spinning of the room, and the loud music made everything full of joy. Then I felt his lips against mine. I think the happiness just ended. Kissing him didn't make me feel happy. Thoughts of Lilly kept popping into my head, and I couldn't stop thinking about how I could be with her right now, listening to music she likes.

Where is he taking me? No, I won't do this. I ripped my hand out of his, and pushed him away from me. I ran out of the house, and flip my phone open, scrolling through my contacts; I find Lilly's number, which she conveniently added the other day for me.

"Hello?" she sounds tired, and raspy, like she just woke up.

"Lilly, help me," I slurred, glancing behind me constantly to make sure Jake didn't find me, "I need you to pick me up."

"I'll be right there, just tell me where you are," I gave her the address, and just hoped she'd be here before Jake discovers where I left to.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews last chapter, I really hope you do the same for this chapter. I know I'm horrible with updates, but you guys already know that too, right?**

Lilly please come faster. Please. Please. I don't want him to find me. So please just come faster. I know I was stupid. I know I should've never came to this party. I should be at your house now. I should've never came with stupid Jake Ryan. I glance over my shoulder quickly, thinking I heard him coming, but thank fucking god no one was there.

"Miley? Is that you? What are you doing outside?" Shit, shit, shit, shit. It's him. I'm drunk, or at least I think I am?

"I just needed fresh air," please believe my lie! Jake Ryan, leave me alone.

"Well come back in, baby," did he seriously just call me baby? "They just opened a keg, and the party's really getting started now. C'mon I wanna see how much you can chug," he's eyeing me up and smirking like a dirty teenager. I thought I would like it if someone like him wanted me, but I don't! I really, really don't!

You know what, I'll just trick him, "_Honey_," the first step to tricking is give them a pet name, "I really just want to stay outside for a bit longer. You go inside, and I'll be there in a few minutes. Then you can see how much this girl can really chug," I'm grinning from ear to ear (even though it's fake, but he doesn't know that!) and hoping he'll believe every lie that has escaped my lips.

"Hell yeah!" he pumps his fists in the air, "Babe, you're amazing," he turns around and jogs back inside the house.

Thank god I got rid of him, but I really don't have much longer until he comes back out. So Lilly hurry your mother fucking—"Hey need a lift?" her face is right in front of mine, and she has this smirk on it that's saying 'I know something and you don't.'

"I didn't even hear your bike…" I mumble more to myself for being so stupid not to hear the roaring of her _really_ loud motorcycle.

"That's because I didn't take it," oh. Now I feel two times as stupid, "I knew this was Jake Ryan's address the second you gave it to me. He knows the sound of my bike's engine from miles away, I didn't want to cause any suspicion, and so I brought my mom's town car."

"You're amazing," I throw myself onto her, and since I'm a bit clumsy, I guess due to the imparity of drinking two smirnoffs (which only Miley Stewart gets drunk off) we both fall onto the ground, and she's clutching onto my waist like no tomorrow.

"Woah there cowgirl," she grins, and my face becomes entirely flushed, "c'mon let's get you home."

"No!" I scream, and Lilly gives me this strange look, "my dad knows the smell of alcohol even if he's on the other side of the room. Can I come with you?"

"To my house?" Lilly seems unsure for a moment, "I-I guess." Is she hiding something from me? Is there something at her house she doesn't want me to see? No, that can't be possible, 'cause she invited me over earlier today.

She lifts us both up, and helps me into the passenger side of the car, before getting in herself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Here," Lilly hands me pajama bottoms and a tank top. I am so grateful I made more friends than just Jake. Otherwise I'd still be at that party, but I probably wouldn't still be a virgin.

"Should I just change here or where's your bathroom?" I ask unsure.

"I'll turn around," Lilly faces her wall.

"Don't peek," I tease, I don't know why I just said that, but I hope she doesn't think I said that because I know she's a lesbian.

"Not even a small quick one?" she jokes back. Oh thank you for not taking it the wrong way.

"Depends if I catch you or not," I like this. I feel like we're flirting, but not in that your normal boy-girl flirting way. This is a whole new type of flirting for me; I never realized girl-girl flirting was different.

I peel my shirt off, and it's then I realize it was sticking to me, ugh I feel gross and sweaty now. Slowly I pull my jeans down, and kick them to the side; I glance up, and see Lilly quickly turn her head looking back at the wall. "Hey, what did I say?" I wanted to feign madness, but I couldn't help but hysterically laugh.

"I can't help it, you have a hot bod," I wonder if Lilly really meant that? What if she did, do you think I could ever be with her? Erase those thoughts Miley, even if you were gay, she wouldn't want you.

"Well then I see only one way to solve this problem," I state confidently, still in my bra and panties. I don't know if it's the smirnoffs talking right now, or my own stupidity.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" she turns around, and stares at me. It's not the uncomfortable stare I got from Jake before; actually it feels _good_ to know she's checking me out.

"You strip. Right now," I point a finger at her then at the floor, signaling I really meant _right now_.

"But—but my bod isn't as hot as yours!" Lilly whines. She hesitates for a moment, waiting to see if I was joking or not. "Just don't laugh," she finally says, before pulling her shirt and pants off.

Oh my god. She was lying! Straight through her teeth! Her body is hot. It is really hot. I don't think ever in my life have I been more attracted to another girl. I step closer to her, and run my right hand across her stomach, which causes a sharp intake of breath from her. "Mi—Miley?"

This isn't too fast, right? I only did meet her two days ago. I don't care if this is too fast, I might as well seize the moment. I fall to my knees, and kiss her right above her belly button. That's when I notice she has a belly button ring. I look up at her, and grin evilly at her, before taking the ring between my teeth and pulling it gently. "You… you never were the church girl you dress up as, were you? You were always a party girl deep down inside, weren't you?" Lilly's breathes out, and I can hear she's suppressing a moan.

I lick all around her belly button, and then kiss each spot where I left a trail of saliva. Giving her belly button ring one last tug with my teeth, I stand up, and walk back over to where I placed the pajamas she gave me. "By the way, just so you know, you do have a hot bod," I say before pulling the tank top over my head, and lifting the pajama bottoms up.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, I know I did not do that last night. It just can't be true. That is something Miley Stewart would never do. Please Lilly don't remember what I did last night! Ugh, you idiot, you were the drunk one, not her. Of course she's going to remember! Well if I just don't bring it up maybe we'll both forget about it eventually?

I mean, yes, Lilly is very attractive for a girl, but no I just would not consider a relationship with her. Maybe a few hook-ups, but only to get the guys looking! I glance over at Lilly, and she's snoring louder than ever, whoever marries her better get some earplugs. I crawl out of her bed and look in the mirror. I'm in her pajamas, so then I really did lick around her belly button? Miley, stop don't think about it. Remember you're trying to forget it.

I hear a loud snort and turn around to see Lilly slowly waking up. Man she makes _a lot_ of noise, snorting and grunting; I really hope someone will love her enough to deal with that. "Fuck, I drooled again. Ugh, now I have to put this through the wa—Good morning Miley!" Lilly's voice changed once she noticed I was standing right there.

"Morning Lilly," I giggled, "I see you made your own indoor pool," I referred to her drool on her pillow.

Lilly turned a bright red and began to babble, "I usually don't have people sleep over… it's been in my family for ages! My mom drools too… the doctor said it was normal—"

"—Lilly! I don't care," I laughed, "you're still as cute as ever," holy crap. Where did that come from? Miley, why don't you think before you speak! That's one of the first lessons you're supposed to learn, think before you speak, think before you speak, perhaps if I repeat it over and over to myself I'll eventually learn to do it.

Lilly seemed to be thinking about what I just said, and I grew more and more nervous each and every second she didn't speak, "Miley, last night… do you—"

"—I'm hungry, what about you? Let's get some breakfast," I interrupted her, I'm trying to forget last night, but that'll be hard if she brings it up.

"Do you want to stop by your house to get some clothes to change into?" Lilly asked following along with my change of conversation, I guess she was just as nervous to talk about it as I was.

"Do you have something I could just have for today? I'm still not quite ready to face my dad."

"Yeah, sure," Lilly said, and got out of her bed, "do you just want to hang out today? I mean we were supposed to anyways."

"O-Okay," I responded as soon as she brushed past me. Why am I so nervous around her now? I can't have feelings for her, but look at that cute butt, I grinned staring at her behind, she was wearing very short boxers, and it defined her butt really well. I shook my head and looked away before she noticed I was staring at her ass.

"Here," she threw me a band tee and some jeans from her closet, "I'll change in the bathroom," she exited her own room, and I heard her walk down the hallway.

I'm happy she decided to go to the bathroom to get changed, I couldn't stand another event like last night happening. Wait a second, I'm not drunk, and so it wouldn't have happened anyways. I'm just being paranoid that I might be gay, but I know I'm not; it was just the alcohol talking.

_Knock, knock_, "Miley, ya decent?" Lilly asked from the other side of the door.

"Just a sec," I responded, and quickly pulled up the jeans and zippered them, then buttoned them, "Kay, I'm good!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Eggs, bagel, or oatmeal for breakfast?" Lilly asked while looking through her refrigerator and cabinets.

"Well… do you have cereal?" I know I'm a pest, but I don't really like many breakfast foods. Just cereal is good for me.

"Sure, pick something I didn't say, but maybe," Lilly laughed and rummaged through a cabinet that was just off the floor. Since she was bending down, I got another perfect view of her butt in her nice tight jeans, along with a tasty piece of skin right above her jeans. I squeezed my eyes shut, and forced the thoughts out of my head, and when I opened them Lilly was holding up two boxes, "Fruit Loops or Cap'n Crunch?"

"Fruit Loops."

"Good choice," she reached for two bowls from the top shelf, then pulled out two spoons, and lastly grabbed some milk, "I'm feeling the Fruit Loops too."

We ate in silence for a few moments, before she broke it, "Miley, Jake invited you to the party last night, didn't he?"

I didn't want to get into this conversation, but I guess it was unavoidable, "Yes," I admitted guiltily and shoved my mouth with a spoonful of fruity sogginess, hoping this would prevent me from talking more.

"I told you he was dangerous," she sounded worried, but angry at the same time, "Miley, did you not believe me what I said about him?"

I glanced at her, and saw that she was a bit hurt. I must be one of her first friends after Jake… well that's when I'm assuming she changed to her punk look. "I-I did… I just, I don't know," anything I say will defy me believing in her.

"It's fine," she finally said, "just don't talk to him again, okay?"

"Okay," I happily agreed, I don't ever want to see his sorry ass again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We were sitting on her bed in her room laughing about pastime boyfriends, or girlfriends in Lilly's case. "I dated this guy Greg, and after I broke up with him, I found this box outside my house of all this stuff I thought was just lost, but it ends up he stole it! It had my favorite underwear in it," I laughed hysterically, at the time I didn't think it was funny, but now it's one of my favorite stories to tell.

"Okay, okay, you win!" she rolled over, holding her stomach, "you definitely beat me on the crazy exes!"

After our fits of laughter I remembered why she wanted me to come over today, "Are we going to listen to that band? Avenge the seven?"

"Avenged sevenfold!" she corrected me, slapping me lightly on my shoulder, "and yes! I'll put on my favorite song!" she hopped over to her computer, and turned the knob on her speakers, "it's called 'scream!'"

An ear-pitching scream erupted from the speakers, before the music started. So far I liked it, although not quite my type of music, it was still good.

Lilly started loudly singing along to the song, "_Caught up in this madness, too blind to see. Woke animal feelings in me, took over my sense and I lost control_," she strutted over to the bed again, "_I'll taste your blood tonight_," she climbed onto it, and brought herself close to me, "_You know I make you wanna scream_," she brought her lips to my ear, "_You know I make you wanna run from me baby_, _but know it's too late you've wasted all your time_."

She pushed me so I'm lying on my back, and she straddled my waist, _"Relax while you're closing your eyes to me. So warm as I'm setting you free, with your arms by your side there's no struggling. Pleasure's all mine this time_," she grinned at the last sentence, was she referring back to last night? Oh why does this feel so good right now?

Lilly brings her face close to mine, so I feel her breath on my dry chapped lips, "_You know I make you wanna scream, you know I make you wanna run from me baby, but know it's too late you've wasted all your time_," she pecked my lips, and god did it feel good, "_Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring. Cover me, unwanted clemency. Scream till there's silence!_" she pushed my shirt up, and rubbed her hands on my bare stomach, "_Scream while there's life left, vanishing. Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire perishing_," she stopped singing and kissed me fully on my lips, wetting my chapped lips, making them feel hot and warm. This was pleasure. I would scream, if her mouth wasn't on mine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes:** Sorry about the long wait for this update! Well here it is :)

I push her off me, immediately feeling guilty afterwards, "Lilly, really, what I did last night wasn't me. This isn't me."

She sits there in silence, and I curl my legs up to my chest, and hug them. The song finishes, and she's still staring out in space, I know I probably hurt her, I didn't want to, but I did. I won't accept the feelings I get from her, I just won't. For one we're going way too fast, and secondly, even if I do go with her, what good will it do? We won't be able to get married, or even have kids, so to me, it's worthless.

"Maybe you should go," she finally is able to sniffle out.

"I-I still want to be friends, okay?" I say this before I exit her room. She just needs space; she'll get over it eventually, right? We'll be friends again… I know it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

Okay. So we're not friends again. I keep trying to talk to her, and she keeps looking away and ignoring me.

The 1st period bell rings, and I chase after Lilly, knowing she's going to try her best to get as far away from me. I spot her speed walking down the hallway, and run up to her, tackling her to the ground. People in the hallways just move past us, like water does when it reaches a rock. "Lilly!" I scream into her face, I feel angry and upset for Lilly not respecting my wishes of just being friends with her.

"Miley!" she screams back at me and struggles to push me off her.

I grab her wrists and hold them above her head, "Lilly just fucking listen to me," I angrily whisper, "you have no right to be mad at me—"

"—yeah I do," she cuts me off, "you're a fucking tease. You can't just lick my stomach and then be like 'oh! I'm not lesbian! I'm not into girls!' You just can't do that!"

Lilly shoves me off her finally, and I slam into another person walking by, causing them to topple on top of me, and giving Lilly the chance to get away. I grunt in pain, as my head hits the floor, I hear the other person groan in pain as well. "You okay?" I hear coming from the other student.

"Yeah," I manage to croak out, rubbing my head furiously.

Glancing upwards I see that it was Jake Ryan. Today is really not my day, is it?

"Miley?" he seems confused, and angry at the same time. Not a good sign.

"Yeah?" I nervously respond, and gather my things off the floor, avoiding his gaze to the best of my ability.

"What happened to you the other night? You sort of just vanished?" he helps me up by grabbing onto my elbow.

"I-erm, someone picked me up," I straighten my clothes out.

"Hey, listen, do you want to hang out after school today? We could maybe get some smoothies at Rico's and just chill on the beach?" the bell rings, signaling 2nd period has started.

"Yeah, sure, sounds great, but I gotta get to class," I rush off in the opposite direction.

"Meet by the overhang!" he shouts before I fully disappear into my next class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm sitting on the bench under the overhang for Jake. Why do I keep doing these stupid things? Saying yes to hanging out with Jake was a dumb idea, he's just gonna want to make out with me, or ask me to be his girlfriend, which I'll say no to! Especially after what Lilly told me… actually who cares what Lilly told me. If she's going to act this way, then I shouldn't have to listen to a word she says.

"Hey Miley," a sweet voice captures my attention.

It's Lilly. And now she's sitting next to me.

"Listen, I'm sorry about this morning. You're right, I shouldn't be mad at you. Just because you don't like me the same way I like you, doesn't mean I should've acted the way I did," Lilly looks at me with sincerity.

"So friends again?" I ask, and Lilly nods happily. I lean over and we hug for a few moments, until I see Jake coming towards us.

"Hey Miles, you ready to go?" he smirks, but quickly frowns when he sees the girl I'm with is Lilly, "why're you with her?" he asks while at the same time Lilly said, "what's he doing here?"

Lilly's staring at me thoroughly disappointed, and Jake's staring at me thoroughly confused. What should I say? What should I do? "Miley?" they both say at the same time.

"I… he's… I'm hanging out with Jake at the beach," I finally spit out, not wanting to hear Lilly's reaction.

"Miley, I told you not to hang out with him! And especially after the party, you still _want_ to?" she stands up, and her right hand is clenched in a fist.

"Don't tell her what to do," Jake moves so he's only inches away from Lilly, his fist as well clenched into a fist.

"Move it big boy, she wouldn't want you in a million years," Lilly pushes herself on her tippy toes, so she looks taller.

"And why would she want a lesbian?" Jake's face is now entirely in Lilly's.

I look back and forth between the both of them, scared of what's going to happen. Why do I have to be the cause of this?

"Answer the question! Why would she want a fucking dyke like you?" he brings both his arms up, and shoves Lilly by the shoulders.

She takes two steps back, and swings her right hand directly into Jake's eye. He winces in pain for a moment, before launching himself onto Lilly, and slamming her whole body onto concrete.

I gasp in shock, and go to move to help Lilly, but stop myself, what could I do?

Jake raises his right fist right above Lilly's face, and uses his left hand to hold Lilly's neck, and both his legs are pushing on her arms so she can't move them, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now," he says in a deadly tone.

"Because your football career would be over," Lilly chokes out, and squirms underneath him.

He brings down his fist into Lilly's jaw, and she screams in pain. And what do I do? I just sit there, watching this all happen. Jake gets off Lilly, and pulls me by my wrist. I'm too shocked to stop him from gripping my arm.

We reach his car, and I'm still staring into Lilly's direction, she's just trying now to get up, but I watch her fail three times. I don't know if she finally got up, because Jake pushes me into his car, and the screeching tires bring me out of my daze.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm not going to visit what happened today ever again. I just won't. No one can find out. Absolutely no one. Not even Lilly. I wonder if Lilly's still my friend. What I did was pretty horrible, and crappy. To leave her there, on the floor… I-I shouldn't have.

I'm on my bed, crying my eyes, praying that my dad and brother don't hear me. I hug my pillow close to my chest, and slightly bite the top part of it, trying to hold back my wailing. I want to go back to Tennessee! I want my old friends back!

I want to talk to Lilly most of all though… but I'm afraid to call her, I'm afraid to hear her say that we shouldn't be friends. My emotional attachment to her is too strong…

I squeeze the pillow tighter, and lean over to turn my radio on.

_A late April day and it's sunny outside_

_And a red little girl's at the top of a slide_

_And an orange old man at the bottom_

_Wants to take her for a ride_

_As she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles_

_Pennies crash down from the sky_

_And he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe_

_And of course it is a lie_

I place my hands over my ears, not wanting to hear anymore, but the song was captivating in a traumatic sort of way.

_She's a third the way down and her skirts are yanked up_

_And her little girl cheeks' start to wrinkle_

_But her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider_

_Her hair growing long and her hips getting larger_

_Past getting brighter_

_Light growing weaker_

I'm sobbing, clutching onto my pillow. I said I didn't want to remember what happened today! Stop… please…

_She is halfway down now but the man is impatient_

_Shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming_

_She's coming_

_She's coming_

I'm crying and screaming so loud I'm surprised my dad hasn't walked in. My pillow is damp from my saliva and tears, I angrily throw it onto the floor, and grab onto something dry, my blanket.

_Who are you blaming?_

_They're just playing_

_That's a good one_

_Who left the playground a good decade before the bell rang?_

I didn't want to! It wasn't my choice! I didn't want to him to touch me!

_As she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer_

_The splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it_

_The pennies were loaded and as they exploded_

_She starts to spin out of control_

_Her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling_

_Up past her head and her veins are all showing_

_Not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on_

_One old man who's laughing_

_Who's laughing_

_Who's laughing_

He's laughing. He's at home laughing, telling his friends he scored with the party girl. I begin choking from my loud sobs, and still no one hears my pain.

_Don't worry_

_I've got you_

_Don't worry_

_I've got you_

_Don't worry_

_I've got you_

_Don't worry _

_I've got you_

_The orange man's got you_

_A late April day and it's sunny outside_

_And a red little girl's at the top of a slide_

_And an orange old man at the bottom_

_Wants to take her for a ride_

"Miley! Open up!" My dad angrily pounds on the door, "Miley!" he shrills. I don't think I've ever heard him sound so scared.

I cry louder and block out his shouting, pulling my blanket even closer to me, whilst in fetal position.

A loud bang later, and my dad is standing in the doorway, and splinters are hanging off the hinges. "Miley, my baby," he rushes over to me, and cradles me in his arms, pushing my hair away from my eyes, I didn't even notice that it was sticking to my wet face.

"I love you, I love you," he whispers over and over in my ear, running his fingers through my hair, "I love you Miles."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I didn't go to school the day after _that_ day. I didn't go the next day, either, or for a whole two weeks. I couldn't see _his_ face, I couldn't see _her_ face. But today, I'm returning, I'm still not ready, but Jackson said he'd be there for me (through text messaging), and daddy promised to pick me up if I feel faint.

I clamp my hands to my backpack straps, and stand in front of the devil school. I glance back to my dad, who's sitting in his car, and he waves for me to head on in. Step by step I manage to finally enter the building, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping I don't see anyone, and hope they don't recognize me.

I reach my locker, and no one's confronted me yet, everything's going good so far. I grab my English book, and walk to Mr. Patier's class. I hope Lilly's absent today, please be absent! Hear my pleas!

I sit in my desk, and Mr. Patier looks at me confused, I was only in his class for two days before disappearing for two weeks. "You're still in my class?" he asks approaching me at my desk.

"Yes, I just wasn't feeling well," I half-lie. I really wasn't feeling well, but not in the sick way he's going to take it.

"Ah, well welcome back," he smiles, and takes his spot at the front of the class again.

I pull out my notebook and begin to doodle in it. "So you finally have the courage to come back after what you did, huh?" I look up nervously and see a _very_ pissed off Lilly.

I feel like crying again, she doesn't know what happened. She doesn't understand… but I wouldn't expect her to. She's dressing in her usual black getup, and her blonde hair covers most of her face.

"I didn't do anything," I mumble, the only thing I could say without breaking down in front of her.

"Wow. Right, that's what you did wrong, 'cause you didn't do anything. You just stood there, and let me get a partially fractured jaw, what a great friend you are," she coldly walks away and sits as far away from me as possible.

I sniff and put my head down over my arms. Don't cry, Miley. Don't cry. Well, I'm not crying, I'm wailing. "Do you need to go to the nurse?" Mr. Patier's voice sounds concerned, and I feel his hand touch my shoulder.

"No!" I scream, and wipe away my tears; I can make it through today. I know I can, I won't be weak.

Lilly glares at me seemingly satisfied that she was able to make me cry.

I get out of chair and rush over to her, and throw my arms around her; I don't care if she's angry. I don't care; I just need her to hug me. I need someone to love me. "Miley?" she questions, and quickly returns the hug.

"I've been through so much, Lilly, I've been through so much," I grasp onto her even more now.

"I didn't mean to shout, I was just angry… that you left me. Let's get out of here and talk everything out, okay?" she brings her face close to mine, stroking my hair with one hand and the other is holding onto my hand.

"O-Okay," I breathe out, and pull out my phone to ask my dad to pick us up.

**A/N: Sad, right:( I hate Jake just as much as you all do, but I love making him the bad guy. Anyways the song is called **_**Slide**_** by **_**The Dresden Dolls**_**. I highly recommend you listen to it.**


	8. Chapter 8

"I realize we haven't known each other that long, but I feel like we've already become close friends from all the experiences we've been through," Lilly's just babbling away, trying to make me feel calm enough to talk to her.

She stops moving her lips and looks at me, waiting patiently to speak up. I shuffle nervously on my bed, and stare at my hands as I finally decide to open my mouth, "I should've listened to you, Lilly, I should've," if I stayed away from Jake, just like you said, none of this would've happened.

"What happened Miley?" she clasps my hand with hers; urging me to go on, and I feel slightly encouraged to continue the story.

"He… he took me to the park first, and I guess he flirted with me, but then he said there were too many people around, and he wanted to go somewhere secluded. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to cause a commotion with all the parents and their kids around.

"So he basically dragged me to this tiny lake, which had a shed next to it… and he took me inside the shed… and," I take a deep breath in, hoping it'd help me relax a bit, but it didn't. Instead, I break down again, which has become common with me since that day.

"No, no, he didn't," Lilly whimpers, and she's shocked. She pulls me into her, so my head is buried in her chest, and she's rocking me back and forth, trying her best to help me stop crying.

After about an hour I was finally feeling better, and I move away from Lilly, noticing a large spot of dampness on her shirt, "Sorry," I whisper.

She glances down, "Oh that's alright. Listen, Miley, you have to take this to the police, he had no right to do that to you."

"No, I can't. I don't want the whole school to find out," I screech. I know I'm overreacting a bit, but imagine _everyone_ finding out you were !#& by Jake Ryan? I can't even say the word… it's so dirty… I just don't want to make it an ordeal.

"Miley, do you want him to do this to more innocent girls? You have to turn him in, so he won't!" Lilly's really passionate about this… maybe when she said she dated him, he forcefully had sex with her?

"Not now," I shake my head. I'm not ready to deal with the law or Jake Ryan quite yet.

Ugh I don't want to keep saying his name. It's so gross. I hate him so much.

"Okay Miley, but promise me you will soon? I don't want this to just be another forgotten case," Lilly declines forward and delicately strokes my hair while gazing at me with all sincerity.

"Al-alright," I finally agree, "thank you for being here for me, and Lilly… you truly are a great friend," I draw her into a tender hug, and we stay like this for a good minute… just enjoying each other's warm bodies.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have a feeling today at school will be a lot easier now that me and Lilly have cleared things up. I'm munching on some scrambled eggs my dad cooked up for me, when I feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see it's a text from Lilly. _Want me to pick u up 2day 4 skool?_

"Hey dad! Alright if Lilly gives me a ride to school?" I shout to him, since he was in the living room watching the morning news.

"Yeah," he lazily responds.

Using my thumbs, I quickly respond, _Yea when will u get me?_

No more than a matter of seconds later, it buzzes again with a reply, _5 mins, be ready_. She gives me a wide time range to get ready.

I laugh to myself and quickly gobble down the rest of the eggs, then sip some orange juice. I grab my books, and backpack, and wait by the front door for Lilly's loud motorcycle.

"Hey bud, before you go, is there anything going on between you and Lilly?" why on earth would he ask that? I don't remember giving any slight hints that something was happening.

And for his information, we're _not_ together! "No, why?" I'm suspicious now; someone had to tip him off on something.

"Well about a week ago, Lilly called me… and she well… never mind," he brushes it off as he hears the motorcycle approach.

You're not getting off this easily Daddy! I will find out when I get home later. What's questioning to me is… why would Lilly call me a week ago? That's when she was still mad at me, right? And the other thing is what would she say to my dad that would make him suspect I was with Lilly?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I enter the school with Lilly right by my side, and I feel confident, and proud of myself right now. Which I haven't felt in a while, since, well you know. Upon arrival, we were greeted by Lilly's two least favorite people, and they were starting to get on my list as well. "Oh, Miley, so sorry to hear," Amber fakes sympathy and places her hand over her mouth.

"Too bad Jake's Amber's now," Ashley stupidly says from behind Amber.

"You know, forcing yourself upon Jake won't get you anywhere," Amber begins laughing, "I would been absent for two weeks too if I did what you did."

"Yeah, unlike you, we're not all sluts," Ashley adds on, and Amber looks at her with pride, for once she didn't make them look stupid.

"Oooohhhh tsssssss," they both hold their pointer fingers to the other.

"You got the story wrong, fuckers," Lilly spits at their feet, "Jake isn't the fucking victim, Miley was. When have you ever heard of a guy being the one raped?"

I shrink; even though Lilly was defending me… my worst fear became true. _Everyone_ knew. And they knew the wrong story. Everyone thinks _I_ molested!#& fuckface. This just can't be happening.

I stumble to the wall, placing all my body weight against it; I can barely hold myself up. I feel so weak… I feel dizzy, everything's spinning. I slide to the floor, and hold my head in between my hands. "Miles! Miley, you okay?" Lilly's rubbing my arms, and looking at me concerned.

But right now, the only thing on my mind is that everything's gone wrong.

**A/N: I feel so bad for doing this to Miley! I feel like I'm kicking a dead puppy… and I feel worse saying this… everything's going to go downhill for her, but it will eventually get better, because of, well we know who, Lilly :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait, but here's the next chapter. Enjoy :D**

"Miles do you want me to call your father?" Lilly whispers, and tries to get me to look at her, but I refuse and keep my chin against my chest.

"Yes," I whimper, and try my best to block my face from Lilly. I really don't want her to see me being this weak.

I feel her presence leave my side. "Hello? Mr.Stewart?" she pauses, "it's Lilly. You need to pick Miley up… she broke down again."

She says it so blatantly, but it isn't, I didn't _just_ break down again because of nothing. How would she feel if this rumor was going around about her? Ugh, stop thinking like this; you know she's here to help.

"What're you all staring at?! Get the fuck away from her, and get on with you lives!" Lilly shouts at what I assume is a group of people staring at me

"C'mon Miles," I feel her grasp my forearm, "your dad will be here soon."

I slowly rise, but keep my hair covering my eyes. Lilly leads me out of the school, occasionally telling me that everything will be okay. I know it won't, but how I want to believe her. I want every word she whispers to become true…

"C'mon Mr.Stewart," she impatiently mutters to herself.

Not understand why she wanted to rush, I lift my head, and brush my hair behind my ears. I see the parking lot, but the second I turn around I see the _entire_ student class of Seaview High School watching me. They're all standing by the clear glass doors, but none dare to walk out onto the concrete I currently am standing on. Lilly notices I'm staring back at them, and she quickly spins my body so it's facing the parking lot again.

"Don't pay attention to them," she mumbles.

But how can I ignore them, when there's around one thousand of _them_ looking at me. I groan in anticipation for my dad to drive up. Glancing back I see the principal shaking his head in disappointment, along with the vice principal next to him. I want to throw up. They can't believe Jake Ryan's lies as well… can they? Oh, who're you kidding… he's the star quarterback; of course they'd believe him.

I see my dad's black SUV pull into the school, and lurch of happiness runs through my body, but only for a split second. I quickly realize why he's here again. I grab onto Lilly's hand, and she looks at me surprised, but covers it with a smile. "I'm here for you," she says under her breath.

I nod my head, and get into the back seat of my dad's car, dragging Lilly along with me. "Hey bud… how you feelin'?" he looks at me sympathetically through the rearview mirror.

"Fine dad," I mumble and just wait to arrive at home

**HMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHM**

"Here, I know a song that'll cheer you up," Lilly grins towards me, and walks over to my stereo. Plugging in her iPod, she scrolls through her songs, before finally landing on the one she wants.

Oh god. It's Britney Spears. I grin with Lilly now, before belting out in hysterical laughter. Lilly jumps onto my bed, and begins singing with the song, "_Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know, that something wasn't right here_," she grabs a hairbrush off my desk and continues, "_Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go_," she uses the brush as a microphone, and leaps off my bed landing in front of me.

"_And now you're out of sight. Show me what you want it to be, tell me baby 'cause I need to know now because_," Lilly pouts as she notices I haven't joined in yet, "Why aren't you singing?"

"Fine…" I wait for the moment that I know the words. "_Hit me baby one more time. Oh baby, baby, the reason I breathe is you_," I giggle as I see Lilly mocking me.

We both start again, this time in unison, "_Oh pretty baby, there's nothing that I wouldn't do. It's not the way I planned, show me how you want it to be, tell me baby 'cause I need to know now because…_"

We both stop, and then look into each other eyes before breaking out into laughter. Lilly really knows how to cheer me up. "I knew you were a Britney Spears fan," Lilly mentions over the music still playing in the background.

"Who wasn't?" I fall onto my golden carpet, and rest against the end of my bed, "I was the ten-year-old who jumped on her couch scream-singing to this song."

Lilly joins me on the floor, and throws her arm around my shoulders; I ignore the shock that just jolted through my body (in a good way.)

"I was never that kid. I was the one who rocked out with her father to Iron Man by Black Sabbath," she chuckles, and pulls me closer to her with her arm, which I take the chance to snuggle into her. "You're adorable," she breathes out.

I don't quite know how to respond to her remark, so I just choose to ignore it for now. I know I'm feeling something with her, but I'm still not quite ready for anything with a girl. I think at this exact moment we just realized the song was coming to an end, so as if on queue, we both sing the last line of it, "_Hit me baby one more time_."

"So if you weren't a Britney Spears kid, then why is she on your iPod?" I smirk, because I know I caught her.

"For this reason here," she uses her free arm to point towards the floor, "to cheer you up on days like these. I have it on there for amusement purposes only." I can't tell if she's lying or not, and if she is, she's damn good at it.

**HMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHM**

I don't feel so good. I know I've already missed so much school, but my whole body feels like it's on fire. And I'm sweating, god I'm sweating like a pig. I'm trembling, and I feel like I'm going to barf. Crawling out of bed, which is quite hard to do, considering my head is all 'woozy', and my legs are jello, I bolt for the bathroom door. "Dad!" I cry out, as I hold my head over the toilet. "Dad!" I scream again hoping he'll come soon.

I clutch my stomach, and squeeze my eyes closed in pain. Where are you Dad? Where are you? I need you; I need you so much right now. I go to yell 'Dad' again, but instead a line of last night's food mixed with mucus came out. Luckily it landed in the bowl of water in front of me.

I cough, and groan in the excruciating pain I'm in. "Miles, oh bud," he whispers softly, and rushes to hold my hair back, rubbing my back.

I feel like my entire stomach is empty now, and I ask him to help me back to my bed, which he immediately obliges. "I'm going to get the thermometer, and a bowl, you stay here," he orders.

I nod my head, thinking where else would I go? I'm in so much pain, and I feel so weak, I wouldn't be able to move anyways. I lift my arm, which would've normally been an easy task, ended being harder than I thought, and wiped sweat off my forehead.

I take a deep breath in, and realize how dry my throat is. Everything in my body just aches right now, and I just want to feel better. Daddy's back, he sticks the thermometer into my mouth. Almost three seconds after, it begins rapidly beeping, "Oh lord, one hundred and three… we'll see how long this sustains. I'm going to get you a cold pack," he leaves me once more.

Why am I feeling like this? I've never had the flu before… or in fact any illnesses ever… I hope this is over quick.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So sorry about the long update… I really shouldn't try writing 5 stories at once! Haha… hope you guys enjoy this one though… well not enjoy, because Miley's pain is definitely not enjoyable, but maybe enjoy the writing? Haha.**

"Dad, I'm still not feeling good," I whine and try to salivate to wet my throat a little, but nothing secretes out.

"I know, bud, I'm taking you to the doctor today," he responds, placing his hand on my forehead, and shakes his head sympathetically. He walks out of my room, probably to get me some more medicine.

I take a deep breath in, my lungs feel constricted, and it's harder to breathe, and immediately after I begin hacking up mucus. I groan and flip my body to the side, which ended up being tremendously difficult considering my whole body is aching.

Wheezing in and out, I shiver, and pull the blanket further up onto my body. My cell phone begins buzzing loudly on my nightstand, but I'm too weak to reach for it. Besides, there could only be one person calling me, and that's Lilly.

"Miles, try drinking some water," he hands me the glass.

I hesitate, since the last time I drank anything, it came right back out. I sip it, and feel my throat constrict in sharp pain. I shove the glass back into my dad's head, "No, it hurts."

My dad places the cup on the nightstand next to me, "Incase you do get thirsty, the cup is right here." He begins to walk out of my room, but stops when he hears my phone vibrate loudly against the mahogany wood, signaling Lilly left a voicemail. He comes back to me, "Do you want me to check that for you?"

I carefully nod my head, not wanting to move it too much for the fear of pain jolting through my body. His fairly large hand flips my phone open with ease, and presses the button to listen to the voice mail, "_Hey Miles… it's Lilly. Just checking up on you, you weren't in school today. Are you okay? Do you need me to come over? Please call me back._"

I smile, hearing her voice and how much she cares about me is really all I need right now. Is it weird for me to say, that I would like her here with me now? Maybe holding me… telling me that I'm really not all that sick…

"I'll call her back for you," my father breaks the silence and my thoughts. I hear a few beeping noises come from it, then I watch him place the phone against his ear, "Hello Lilly? ...Yes this is Miley's father. She's not feeling too great right now… No she'll be fine, I'm sure she'll be back in school by next week… We're going to the doctor today… If she's feeling better, then yes, you can come over… Okay, bye."

I stare at him with hopeful eyes, "What did she say?"

"She says 'feel better,' and she wanted to come over, but I said only if you feel better. Your health always comes first," he sighs and sits on the edge of my bed. Soothingly, he rubs my leg, and starts humming an old song he used to sing all the time.

**xHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMx**

I'm lying on the uncomfortable, stiff doctor's bed, waiting for him to tell me what's wrong with me. Dad's waiting too; he's sitting on the chair right next to me, and holding my hand in support.

"Mr.Stewart, Miss.Stewart," the doctor acknowledges us as he enters the room, "I'm going to say you have bronchitis right now with a mild upper respiratory infection. I'm going to prescribe you with some Avelox, which is just an antibiotic, and Advair, which is a dry inhaler to help you get right along with the bronchitis."

I'm not really comprehending what he's saying, I still feel extremely dazed. I hope my dad understands everything… I grunt in pain as I sit up, and immediately regret it, now feeling my head become heavy.

"I just want to take some blood work to make sure the infection hasn't spread anywhere else," the doctor continues commenting.

I hate needles… do they really need to do that? I'm all for opting out on this blood work. "Alright," my father agrees._ What_? Remember Dad, you're on my side, not his. You're supposed to stop anyone from physically hurting me.

I'm about to say something, but instead I begin fiercely coughing, I have to hold onto my chest with one hand, and the examine bed with the other to prevent myself from falling over. My throat and lungs burn in pain, and I fill my lungs to the max before deflating them, hoping that it'd help.

"I'd recommend you start her immediately on the inhaler, and antibiotics, she's wheezing quite a bit," the doctor looks between my dad and me with concern.

"We will," Dad assures him, and helps me stand up. I clutch to him tightly, afraid of falling down, I hate being weak, and I hate being sick.

**xHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMxHMx**

"Are you feeling any better?" Lilly worriedly asks me through my cell phone propped against my ear.

"A little, the antibiotics are slowly doing their job," I sniffle in response. Dad hasn't let Lilly come over at all, he wants me to make a quick recovery, and doesn't want Lilly to get sick at all. I've been deprived of Lilly for three days now, I really wish she was here helping me get through this…

"Good, good," I can almost see her nodding while sitting on her bed. We're both silent for a moment, just listening to each other's breathing, "I miss you Miley…"

I can't even explain how good it felt to hear to that… especially from her. She makes me feel wanted, which is good thing since everything's been so hard on me since I've moved here. "I miss you too…" I respond with a raspy voice. I silently curse to myself for ruining this moment with my damn sick voice.

"You still sound really sick… I want you to get some rest," she says to me sweetly, but I don't want her to hang up. I want to stay on the phone with her; she makes me feel better than any damn antibiotics do!

"Alright," I comply, "call me tomorrow."

"I will, sweetie. Sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite," she giggles.

"Night," I whisper and close my phone.

I pull my blanket close to my chin, and try to fall back to sleep. As soon as I begin to drift off, the home telephone begins ringing, and it interrupts my almost slumber. I hear my dad answer it from downstairs, and being the nosy person I am, I pick up the phone to tune in on the conversation.

"Mr.Stewart? It's Dr.Bradley," oh he must be calling about my blood results.

"Hi Dr.Bradley, everything okay?" awh, my dad sounds so worried, I'm really glad to have him as a father…

"Erm, no, actually," crap… what's wrong? "It's about Miley's blood test results…" he says this very unsure…

"What? What about her blood test results?" Dad urges him to spit out the information.

"Miley, she, ah… how can I put this? She erm…" I don't want to hear whatever it is from Dr.Bradley over the phone I was eavesdropping on. I quietly place the phone back down, and wait for my dad to walk up the stairs and tell me what's going on.

My heart is thumping loudly against my chest as I wait in anticipation for what's wrong with me. Do I have a bigger infection than what he though previously? Oh god, what if I do? Then what if I can't see Lilly ever again, because of this stupid infection…?

Oh please, don't let it be anything bad… I hear my father's cowboy boots slowly walk up the stairs, and approach my room. My whole body shivers in fear, and I think my heart is about to burst out of my chest…

"Hey bud," he lightly knocks on my door, and enters.

I gulp, and stare at him, holding onto my blanket for dear life. "What's up?" I ask nervously.

"Dr.Bradley called," he chuckles with a somewhat jittery edge to it, "he, uh, told me something as to why you got this sick…"

I hold my breath, and wait for him to tell me what Dr.Bradley had told him.

**A/N: Uh-oh! What is it?! What's wrong with Miley?! Now I have no choice, but to update with the next chapter much sooner, especially after leaving you guys with a cliffy like this.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:** Hey dudes! Wow sorry about my lack of update… I'm a bad person :P well actually I got this new friend, and she pretty much occupies all of my time, lmao. But it's like 4:30am, and I can't sleep, so I thought, why not write an update, huh? Not such a bad thought. Yeah. Well here you go.

**HMxHMxHMxHM**

"Bud," he slowly comes closer to me, but stops when he reaches my bed, "Miles… oh my sweet Miley." I see his eyes glisten with tears, and I reach forward to grasp his hand, but he sharply turns away from my touch.

I let out a whimper, and pull my blankets up to my chin, while leaning against my headboard, "What is it Dad? What's wrong with me?"

"Miley…" he collapses on the edge of my bed, "Miley, you're HIV positive."

What.

No.

No.

No, this can't be happening. Those words did not just leave his lips. I can't be HIV positive… I just can't be.

No.

I refuse to believe him. He's just playing some sick, cruel joke on me. He's lying. I can see it in his eyes; he has to be lying.

He's telling the truth. Otherwise he wouldn't be crying. His whole body is hunched over, and begins shivering heavily. He lets out a wail, and I lurch forward to wrap my arms around him. He shudders from my touch, but pulls me close to him, placing me in his lap, and I rest my head in the nook of his neck. "I love you, Miles. I love you," he sniffles, and hugs me tighter.

"I-I love you too, Daddy," I hold my breath, trying to fight the tears forming.

The second I release the air I was holding in, my first tear falls. I move my head more towards his shirt, and let myself loose. I dig my nails into his back; I almost feel his skin through this old navy t-shirt of his.

"Sing me a song," I say in between hiccups from crying.

I feel his body begin vibrate as he hums, trying to think of a song to sing. "_Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you_…" he's singing one of old favorite songs. When I was younger I fell in love with song, and I'm glad he remembers that. "_Why do stars fall down from the sky, every time you walk by? Just like me, they long to be close to you… on the day that you were born the angels got together, and decided to create a dream come true… so they sprinkled moon dust in your hair, and golden starlight in your eyes of blue_…" he stops singing and begins to slowly cry again.

"Dad, please stop crying, you're making it worse, you're making me want to break down again," I crawl even closer on him, if that's possible, but now our bodies are touching in every spot, and I feel him tremble. "Just hold me, like you used to, Dad, just hold me."

"I am, Darling, I am," he speaks softly, and begins rocking me, "I'm so afraid, Miley. I know I shouldn't admit to being scared, but, oh, Miles! Bud! I'm so scared I'm going to lose you, I can't lose you, you're my baby girl."

"I won't let myself go so easily, I promise," I close my eyes, and snuggle into his embrace. I miss these hugs, these cuddles we used to always have. Just sadness seems to sweep over me again, as I realize why we're in this position. "Am I going to have to see Dr.Bradley again?"

He shakes his head, "No, he's referring us to a specialist. I don't think you'll be seeing Dr.Bradley anymore. I'm going to make an appointment with the specialist for tomorrow, so we can find out as much information as possible about… this…" I take this as a hint, and climb off him, immediately feeling the heat leave me.

He stands up, and rubs his red eyes, then swipes away at his tear streaks. Running a hand through his hair, he sighs and walks out my room, calmly. I look over to my phone, and have the urge to call Lilly and spill everything to her; how fuckface gave me… can I even say it? How fuckface gave me HIV.

I grab it and flip it open, skimming through my contacts, stopping at her name. I hold my thumb against the send button, but don't press it. What if Lilly thinks I'm disgusting? What if she never wants to be around me again? I mean my blood is like death… I can kill people with my blood… that's a scary thought. Maybe I shouldn't tell Lilly. She wouldn't understand.

I close it, and gently rub my temples, trying to sort my brain out.

I have HIV.

HIV develops into AIDS.

AIDS kills people.

I'm going to die.

Does fuckface even know he has HIV? I hope he fucking dies sooner than me from it.

I look at my cell phone again; I really want to call her. But we already said our good nights; I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow. I'm not going to tell her about my HIV though, I just can't. I don't want her to worry… and I don't want her to act differently around me.

**HMxHMxHMxHM**

"Miles, wake up, we're seeing Dr.Lipinsky today." I open one eye slowly to see my dad staring at me. His face looks rugged, he hasn't shaven yet, and there are dark shadows underneath his eyes. Not to mention, already, wrinkles are becoming evident… I guess this, even though it's only been a day, is really taking a toll on him.

"Can Lilly come over afterwards?" I ask hopeful, and begin wiping the crud out my eyes.

"I don't know, Miley. I don't want you seeing anyone until we get everything figured out, including safety procedures," he gently brushes some hair off my cheek.

I groan and turn my face away from him. "Please, Dad, she's like my only friend. I really need the support from her, especially at a time like this…"

"Alright, fine Bud," he gives in, and leans forward to delicately kiss my forehead, "now shower up, and get ready."

"Yes sir!" I smile, and hop out of bed, but immediately regret the fast movement, as I feel dizziness wash over me. I hold my head, and wait for the spinning feeling to go away.

**HMxHMxHMxHM**

I'm sitting in Dr.Lipinsky's waiting room. Her carpet is an off-white color, with wallpaper to match it, and I'm sitting on possibly the brightest neon orange chair. The diversity between the walls and seats burn my eyes, so I close them, and rest my head back against the wall.

_Bzzzt… bzzzt…_

I reach into my pocket, and pull out the vibrating item. Oh, it's a text from Lilly. _Hey, how are you feeling?_

I quickly reply to her, _a lot better, dad says you can come over later._

Within less than a minute, she answers back to me, _awesome, give me a ring when I can come_.

The second my phone is back in my pocket, a nurse opens the door that leads to multiple examination rooms, "Miley Stewart? Miley?" she questions glancing around the room.

I stand up, and my dad follows suit. We walk towards her, and she warmly smiles at me, and motions for me to come with her. Walking down the long hallway, we reach the room, third door on the left. "I'll just take your weight, height, temperature, and blood pressure," she says sweetly, closing the examination room door behind her.

I nod my head, and obey each of her instructions that allow her to make sure everything about me _so far_ is normal. After she's finished, she turns to my father, then to me, "The doctor will be in shortly," and poof, she's gone.

I glance at Daddy, nervously. I'm scared to see what the doctor's going to say. "It's alright, Bud," he nods to me, reassuringly, but it seemed as though he was saying it more to himself than to actually me.

"I hope so," I meekly reply, and begin swinging my legs back and forth that are hanging off the examination bed.

"Miles, it will be," he sternly replies. I know he's just as afraid as I am, and he keeps saying stuff like this, so in his mind he can at least pretend.

The door handle twists, and a quite cheery looking female doctor enters, "Well good morning everybody!" she smiles, "how are you two doing today?"

"Wonderful," I sarcastically reply, how does she expect me to feel? I just got over being sick, and then discovered I have HIV. How the fuck would you feel, woman?

"Miley," my father lightly scolds, then turns his attention to the woman, "we're fine, worried, but fine."

"Alright, we'll let's get started on talking about HIV, huh?"

**HMxHMxHMxHM**

So Dr.Lipinsky went over a lot of stuff with us, like what to do if a little cut forms, how to correctly dispose of my pads and/or tampons after my period… and just basically everything. I feel a lot better after talking to her, she made it seem like I could actually live a normal life with HIV.

I'm just worried that I might give it to the people I love most, including Lilly. I mean I don't know what to do with her anymore. Wait, I don't mean it like that… I just mean… ugh.

I have to admit, I do like Lilly. In that more than friendly way, but now I can't be with her. I have HIV, and I don't want to take any possibility of giving it to her, at all. So dating Lilly is out of the question.

Speaking of Lilly, she should be here any second now…

I walk out of my room, and down the stairs, but I come to a halt halfway. I hear my father playing the piano, and it sounds like a familiar tune. Once he begins singing, I realize why it's familiar…

"_When I find myself in times of trouble,_

_Mother Mary comes to me,_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be._

_And in my hour of darkness,_

_She is standing right in front of me,_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be._

_Let it be, let it be._

_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be._

_And when the broken hearted people,_

_Living in the world agree,_

_There will be an answer, let it be._

_For through they may be parted there is,_

_Still a chance that they will see_

_There will be an answer, let it be._

_Let it be, let it be. Yeah,_

_There will be an answer, let it be._

_And when the night is cloudy,_

_There is still a light that shines on me,_

_Shine on until tomorrow, let it be._

_I wake up to the sound of music,_

_Mother Mary comes to me,_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be._

_Let it be, let it be._

_There will be an answer, let it be._

_Let it be, let it be._

_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be._"

By the time he was finished, I realized I was full-fledged crying. That song just really touched my heart at this very instance. "Miley, you okay?" he asks now hearing that I'm crying.

"I'm fine," I struggle to say, and lift myself off the stairs, "I'm fine," I repeat.

We both turn to the front door, as we hear a voice, "Mr.Stewart, that was beautiful," and Lilly wipes a tear away from her eye.

She has no idea of what's really going on, but she's still crying from my dad singing that. I hope she thinks I was just crying, because of the song being beautiful. I really can't go into me having HIV and whatnot with her right now…

**HMxHMxHMxHM**

**Author's Notes:** Oy, I'm so mean to Miley! Well soon to come, Miley going back to school, and how everyone still treats her. And the confrontation between Jake and Miley is also to come in the next chapter :P And it's like 5:20am now, so I'm tired… and going to go to bed.


End file.
